5 Myths About Men.
1. Men are not naturally monogamous, but women are.
I’ve always figured that this one is simply wishful thinking on the part of the male scientists influenced by their culture who persistently reached this conclusion until new data made it an untenable position. DNA testing has established that in most animal species, neither males nor females are sexually monogamous although many are socially monogamous at least for a season. Humans are no exception. Women are heavily socialised to restrict their sexual attraction to one guy at a time. They have been severely punished for transgressions, but women's biology and personality are both well suited to multiple partners — more so than men's. The masculine often has a deep desire for simplicity, and monogamy is generally much more simple than non-monogamy.
Women have been shown to be better at multi-tasking, and to have better communication skills, two important factors in multi-partner relating. Because women generally take more time than men to become sexually aroused and to reach orgasm and are less likely to be “finished” after one orgasm, more than one partner, even in close proximity, is not only easily manageable biologically but may be advantageous. The psychological factors, especially the impacts of jealousy and competition for both men and women, are a bit more complex, but it’s safe to say that women are no better suited to monogamy than men are.
2. Men are more interested in sex than women
Fortunately for us, all this is not true. Nature wants all of us enrolled in reproducing the species! Women can become disinterested in sex as a result of childhood abuse, rape, social conditioning including body image challenges, unaddressed relationship issues, unskilled lovemaking or demands of juggling children and work, but these all represent deviations from her inherent nature. Women are socialised to channel their erotic yearnings into romantic fantasy rather than genital imagery, but when freed of sex-negative conditioning and social judgements, women desire erotic connection.
When women are initiated into the pleasures of sex with a lover who is sensitive, considerate, skilled, and receptive to guidance, their sexual potential is awakened, and their interest in sex equals or exceeds the interest of most men.
It may appear that men are more interested in sex because their sex organs are less mysterious and hidden than women’s and because they are taught that sex is about their own pleasure, not the woman’s. Both men and women can benefit from learning more about their own bodies, freeing themselves from sex negative conditioning, and seeking instruction in how to give and receive pleasure.
3. Men must ejaculate to be satisfied or to experience sexual pleasure.
This is a very common belief but ask any man who has learned to separate orgasm from ejaculation and he will tell you there are many benefits to non-ejaculatory orgasm. For many men orgasm without ejaculation enables a man to be multi-orgasmic, to maintain consistent sexual energy, desire, and confidence, and to magnetically attract interested partners. Once men learn to orgasm without ejaculation they rarely want to go back to ejaculating every time.
Most women have been orgasming without ejaculating for a long time because they've been shamed out of allowing ejaculation, or because their partners didn't know how to arouse them sufficiently to cause an ejaculatory release. So women know that orgasm and ejaculation are not the same thing. That said, the idea is not to shame men out of their ejaculation but to recognise that they have choices.
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